Women in Brazil Beware!

"In Brazil a woman gets hit or beaten up every 15 seconds. As long as the hitting or beating up takes places at home, people think it is not that serious.”

Those are the words of a beautiful judge, Vanessa Ribeiro Mateus, who just took office as head of Sao Paulo State’s judicial branch in charge of domestic violence against women. Vanessa is married, 33, has no children, and was born in Santos, a city in Sao Paulo’s seaside. She is the first woman to occupy such an important position in Brazil.

The special branch is the only one that can provide women with all the law requires: psychological help, social workers, a place for children, women’s shelters, etc. The law in question is called Maria da Penha, to honor a battered woman who got paraplegic, read more about it here.

The branch allows the same judge to handle both the civil and the criminal case. They can keep husbands from seeing their children; provide separation from bed and board, refer women to NGOs, etc. Unfortunately, most women do not seek help when they are being beaten up by their husbands. They themselves think it is okay to get hit around every now and then; it has become part of the culture itself, but luckily, this culture is changing, not only because of the law, but also because Brazilians are being made aware that it is not okay to hit women and children.

Many people from several countries and cultures think it is okay to hit the weaker, I’ve never thought so. I am against hitting women and children, no matter how old they are. I know many will go against me on this issue, they’ll find reasons to justify hitting children even in the bible “spare the rod, spoil the child”. But I think children learn to be violent from their parents. I’ve never hit mine and he’s great.

There is an expression in Brazil, “Ele bate, mas é trabalhador” (Eli bahti, maiZEH traballyadOR). “He hits, but he is hardworking (a good provider). Not only do women use that expression often, but their family, friends and lots of people around them use that as well. So there is kind of an idea that if a man is a good provider, he can hit his children and wife. I believe Brazil is not the only country with that kind of culture, but my purpose here is to talk about Brazil. Because of this philosophy, among others, women won’t report their beating husbands. They are afraid they’ll get stuck with their children with no one to take care of them and so they choose to put up with it.

Therefore, they are willing victims as well because they don’t think they can be successful in life on their own, they need a man to take care of them. Many that get hit think like that. They get into a psychological cul-de-sac because of a total lack of self esteem that gets worse every year they stay in the relationship.

I’d say most people in Sao Paulo think it is okay to hit a child to make them obey, or for their own good, etc. And women talk too much and irritate men and they should be put in their places. People who think like that should be living in a cave, but I hear that every day. I was hit by a woman once, and I showed her I could beat her up, but didn’t, I just held her and kept her from hitting me and made it very clear I could beat her up, but I chose not to. This woman is what Brazilian's call “mulher de malandro” (moollier di mahLUNGdroo). A mulher de malandro is a woman who teases men, nags them no end and practically begs to be hit. Or at least, that's what many men say about women who won’t do anything about it if hit. And of course, there are those who are secretly into S&M and will in fact pick up a fight to hit and get hit. They find it exciting, that's the case of the woman I mentioned.

And there are women called “Amelia” (amEHlia), they are called so because of a very old song, lyrics and mp3 here.

Amelia is regarded as a woman who will accept a man no matter his circumstances. She won’t go away just because he has no money or is going through hard times, etc. But it took on the meaning of a woman who will stay with a man no matter how much crap he puts her through. So, it is common for a woman to say to another she is an Amelia because she will stay with a man even though she is mistreated every single day. And a man will call women who put up with their crap Amelia, too.

Galinha (gaLING-ya) is a slut, but now they call guys galinha, too. So galinha (chicken) is not associated with cowardly behavior as it is in the English-speaking countries. Here a chicken is called “bunda molde” (bOONGda mAWli), (soft ass). Anyway, some men are regarded as “corno manso” (kORnoo MUN-soo), a guy who stays with a woman even though she cheats on him all the time. They are called “manso” “tame”; because they apparently know their wives are cheating on them and won’t do anything about it. But until recently, a guy could beat up a woman and allege she was cheating on him and practically nothing would happen to him because authorities called beating up or killing a woman under those circumstances “legitima defesa da honra” (lezhEEtima defEza da ONG-ha), legitimate defense of the honor, in other words, you have the right to beat up or kill a woman if she is cheating on you. But things are changing and it is very hard to get away with murder by claiming that now.

Anyway, I think it is a cowardly act to take advantage of the weak, and I know many women will say, “Hey, don’t call me weak!” The fact is, physically, most women can’t beat up a man. I’m not talking about intellectuality or anything like that here, I'm talking about physicality. And I know martial arts, so for a woman to beat me up, it would be very hard anyway, even if I weren't usually stronger.

A lot of guys hit women because of a lack of self esteem. Why don’t they try to beat someone their own size? They’d get whipped if they tried, so they think it is nice to be the big guy somewhere. Many of them beat their family up when they are drunk and then get really sweet the following day to make up for it.

I think an opponent has to be strong enough to give me glory by defeating them. What’s the point of beating someone who doesn’t deserve the name of adversary? But I guess men in Brazil hit women and children because they can. The same way a dog licks his balls, because he can. Some men have fast hands, in other words, they hit pretty fast if the child or woman doesn’t do what he wants, democracy, outside the walls of their home, not inside.

So I sure hope that beautiful judge and the law in general put a lot of guys in prison to change this aspect of our culture forever, and good riddance to it.

Author: Joe da Silva

Bolsa familia and its unexpected results

One of the good effects of Bolsa Familia (BOAsa fumMEElia), besides helping the poor, was to get the impoverished in big cities like São Paulo to go back to their places of origin, and keep people in the disadvantaged regions from coming to São Paulo. Immigration is good, it can bring plenty of diversity and options to a country, but if it is uncontrolled, it can generate lots of problems, unemployment and crime among them.

How can a state deal with an inordinate rise in its population every single year?

Before Lula, migration from the poverty-stricken regions of Brazil into São Paulo was staggering. Now things have changed. Lots of people in here are going back to their places of origin, thanks to Bolsa Familia. I belong to a family of internal migrants since my parents came from the Northeast, my mom from Pernambuco and my daddy from Paraiba. “Paraiba masculina, mulher macho, sim senhor” (paraEEba maskooLEEna, moolyEH mAHshoo, SING sing-Yoh) (Paraiba is for macho man, even women are macho”. So goes a song.

I like it here in Sao Paulo. Even though my parents came from the Northeast, I’ve never set foot there. I intend to travel around there someday; people say the beaches are great, I digress.

Anyway, migration to the South has been so common that we call Mineiros (miNAYrooz) (people born in Minas Gerais (MEEnaz zheddEYEZ), “Baianos cansados”, tired Baianos, Baiano (buyUNG-noo) is a person born in Bahia. Since Minas Gerais is midway between Sao Paulo and Bahia, the expression was coined. I guess Cariocas (Rio de Janeiro-born) are baianos cansados, too, but they love the beach, so they took a different route. Joking aside, the fact is this internal migration is good as long as it is not totally uncontrolled.

At any rate, I don’t believe everybody should embrace the capitalist ideal. Capitalism is good, consumerism is good, they force humans to evolve, but I know people can live without it, just look at the Indians in the Amazon and the aborigines in many places. They don’t starve, they have fulfilling lives, they enjoy themselves as much as a person with plenty of material things. And they can’t miss what they never had.

Capitalism makes you think if you don’t have a lot of stuff, you are poor and suffering. But that’s not true; I know plenty of slum dwellers who are very happy and lots of rich people who are always unhappy. Many people are not ambitious, so let them lead their simple lives. We don’t need to keep increasing the number of consumers exponentially, and Bolsa Familia is helping control this influx. Hooray for that! Let the ambitious keep coming, not people who are coming because of starvation. But I guess the ambitious could stay there and move it up as well, or down, depending on whether you think defining yourself as a big consumer is a good thing. I love consuming, but I was brainwashed by society as well, I'm just another victim, even though I do believe capitalism can bring advances like no other system, but the price you pay for that is constant worry.

So worry and consume, or don’t worry and be happy, whatever makes your world go round.

Author: Joe da Silva

License to procreate

Let me tell you a little story about a guy in São Paulo who lives in my neighborhood and is a true stud, at least if you are talking about the past, when men were used as reproducers. Today, he is an irresponsible procreator. Just imagine, he has 4 kids with one woman and 3 with another one, 3 with another one, and he just made another one pregnant and he doesn’t support any of them. He keeps going from woman to woman, and they keep getting pissed at him because he is not a good provider. But maybe now he’ll go to jail for not paying alimony and palimony. At least, I convinced one of his ex-wives to report him to the authorities. Now he’s pissed at me and her and keeps threatening us. I did it because she happens to be my niece. I told her the guy was good-for-nothing before she had 4 children by him, but she didn’t listen to me, now her whole family, meaning myself and other members of her extended family, helps her support her children.
It’s really funny that you need a license to drive a car and to do a lot of other stuff, but any stupid person is allowed to reproduce. I believe anybody should be allowed to have the first two children, but after that, they should prove they have the means not only to support them, but also to give them a good life. Supporting doesn’t mean just giving them food to survive, just like you do with any animal. In Portuguese, there is a stupid saying, “Onde come um, comem dois, comem três” (Ongdi kongmi oong, kongmi do-iz, kOngmi trays). A lot of the poverty in Brazil is caused by irresponsible reproduction. And I believe the way to control it would be by having those irresponsible men and women sterilized. Those irresponsible begetters are a burden to society as a whole.
People complain about China’s abuse of human rights, but as regards reproduction, I don’t think they are wrong. I live in a country where irresponsible reproduction abounds. People say society should never try to control that because it would be against the most basic human rights. Well, I agree to a certain extent, in my opinion, two children would be the limit just to appease those advocates of the right to free reproduction, but if it were up to me, I wouldn’t allow many people to reproduce because they make children that become a problem for society since they give them no education, not enough food, and as we live in a capitalistic society, the class differences are huge and so those kids will resort to crime due to envy.
Capitalism encourages envy because it makes the world move forward. The neighbor’s wife is always hotter and if he has a car, you should have one as well. Those children in Brazil who are the product of irresponsible reproduction have the odds against them to begin with so chances are they will become criminals since according to statistics most criminals are the product of a single mother and an absent father. I’m not just in favor of family planning; I’m all for punishing irresponsible reproduction by neutering irresponsible people.
And the Catholic Church doesn’t help at all, quite the opposite. They know the best way to get converts is by brainwashing children. Children are easy to manipulate, so they convince the stupid to procreate like hell, the physical conditions of the children the stupid poor produce doesn’t matter, what matters is their souls. If children suffer a lot, they have their place guaranteed in heaven. That’s the problem with overemphasizing spirituality; sometimes the result is ignoring the flesh. At least, that’s what History shows us.
I went to a mass with my mother, the priest was Father Marcelo Rossi, a singing priest, the answer of the Catholic Church to the evangelical movement. Well, he was praising women who had more than six children, calling them “heroines”. Cows, that’s what they are, ignorant cows. I'm not blaming them for being ignorant cows, that’s just what they are due to life’s circumstances, but I blame whoever promotes this way of thinking.
Well, enough of my rant, long live family planning!

Author: Joe da Silva

São Paulo: Smoke-free Zone

If you want to smoke in the state of São Paulo, now you’ll have to do it in the street or in the open air. Forget about smoking anywhere else, except your home, of course. Hotel and bar owners didn’t like the idea very much and protested vehemently, but I doubt very much they’ll make any headway in their attempt to get the governor to veto the bill.

Smokers are not complaining because I believe most of them want to quit but don’t have enough will power to do it, so anything that will keep them from lighting up is welcome. Therefore, fumódromos (fooMAWdromoz), designated smoking areas, will be a thing of the past. Elevators will certainly be more crowded the whole day since fumantes (fooMUNGteez), smokers, will have to take them to get to the street in order to puff on their cigs. Smokers will have to walk more in malls, which is good for them, as they’ll have to go out in order to smoke.
And if you think boates (Bo-AH-teez), nightclubs are exempt from this law, think again. There is more, only owners and proprietors will pay the piper. If a smoker is caught dragging on a cigarette in a banned place, the owner has to make sure they are kicked out since there’ll be no fines or punishment for them as they are regarded as addicts, therefore, sick. The owner can call the police to make sure they are expelled, but can’t make use of any violence to get them out. And they'll have to get them out somehow since owners will have to pay a huge fine if anybody complains, and I mean huge, depending on the situation, up to R$ 3 million.

If you take a taxi in São Paulo (Soung POUloo), don’t light up. Remember, streets and open air, that's it. Of course, with the “jeitinho brasileiro” (zheyTING-you brazeeLEYddoo), the sneaky Brazilian way, taxi drivers and bar owners, among many, will find a way to sidestep this law, but this is better than no law. Sneakiness and underhandedness are practiced all over the world, not just Brazil, so I kind of resent the implication of the expression jeitinho brasileiro. It makes people think only in Brazil do people act underhandedly. You just have to read newspapers around the world to find out that sneakiness can be good or bad, it depends on the law you are fighting against. A sneaky person in Nazi Germany was the good guy and the same can be said about people living in totalitarian regimes all over the world.

So, long live sneakiness, who doesn’t make use of it every now and then? It is not the act that makes it bad, but what you are getting around. But I like the legislation, it’ll force lots of people to be sneaky or to quit smoking, and since smoking is hazardous to your health, more power to the law!

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I live in São Paulo, Brazil/Moro em São Paulo, Brasil.

Brazilian Portuguese Tips and Translations

All of my posts contain tips on Brazilian Portuguese and translation of some English words so as to help students of English and Portuguese.
If you hover the mouse over some words, you'll get a translation into Portuguese.
The tips on Portuguese are on the articles themselves.

Joaquim, Manuel and Maria versus Jane...

Joaquim, Manuel and Maria versus Jane and Mary

Blonde jokes, an American influence on Brazilian society.The Internet strikes again. I don’t believe I heard any blonde jokes before the Web made its debut in Brazil. So another cultural icon is fighting to hold its place in Brazilian culture, the stupid Portuguese. We have hundreds of Portuguese jokes here the same way English speakers have Polish ones. We usually translate Polish as Portuguese in the joke department. Lots of people search for Polish jokes and convert them into Portuguese ones. So maybe the blondes are fighting a battle for the kingdom of stupidity on both fronts since the Polish won’t give up their presidency of the United States of the Stupid that easily, either, no pun on the US intended. And even though I don’t have a degree in morology, I can tell it is a vast kingdom with millions of subjects all over the world.I wonder who the stupid are in other cultures and how they gained the notoriety.

But anyway, do you have any animal that stands for stupidity? In Brazil that animal is the “burro”, jackass or just ass in English, that’s why we say “loira burra” (LOIdda bOOha), stupid blonde. But the word “burro” (bOOhoo) has become so widespread in this usage that “estúpido” (izTOOpidoo) in Brazilian Portuguese usually means “rude, impolite, crass, uncouth,” and not, lacking in intelligence or with a supply scarcity in the brains department. And “mal educado” (mow edookAHdoo) means “rude and not ill educated”. Most people understand ignorante (ignorANGti) as rude and impolite and not ignorant, even though it has this meaning as well, so be careful if you call someone “ignorante” here.

I know calling the Portuguese stupid is a generalization. When people say they are stupid they mean most of them are, not all of them, naturally. If you find a clever one, they’ll say he’s the exception that proves the rule. Once a stereotype sets in, it is hard to get rid of the stigma. I don’t take it seriously, it’s just a stereotype, like many others. But I do wonder how they got that reputation.

Some say it’s because they traded gold for clothes with the English, others have different explanations. But Joaquim(zhohaKING), Manuel (mahngnooEHoo) and Maria (maDDEEa) have been parts of the Brazilian culture for a very long time. They don’t make up a threesome, it’s just that all the women in the jokes are named Maria. Do you know why these exemplars of foolishness are called Joaquim and Manuel? Because, people say, 80% of the Portuguese male population are named either Joaquim or Manuel; all the women are named Maria. I guess I’d have to check their phonebook to find out whether that’s true. Maybe if you name someone Joaquim, Manuel or Maria in Portugal, you are practically predetermining their coming to Brazil.

That’s one of the mysteries nobody can explain. I guess that one “só Freud explica” (saw Frawi dizPLEEka), only Freud can explain, (another way to say God only knows), but “ele foi dessa para melhor” (Eli foi dehssa pra meliAWR), but he went from this one to a better one, in other words, he died, in English people would say, “He went to a better place.” Unless he took the elevator down, of course.

Although, I don’t think the Portuguese can be overthrown. For instance, we have a one-liner that goes like this: somebody asks you, “Do you know how the Portuguese have oral sex?”

“No, how?”“They stand in their bedroom and shout at each other, “Fuck you!” (Excuse my French)

Yes, it would be hard to convert that into a blonde joke unless we made them lesbians. Yeah, I suppose it can be done since the gay movement gains momentum every year. So I guess Joaquim, Manuel and Maria have their days numbered.

But we have some jokes with mustached women, and Maria sometimes is the butt of it, in other words, she’s the one that “toma no rabo” (TONGma nooHAHboo), takes it up the ass, and in Brazilian Portuguese that’s always unpleasant, even if you’re gay, at least, idiomawise. I can’t imagine a situation I’d make a joke with a mustached blonde, but there aren’t many of those jokes anyway, as I said, the Marias are not depicted like that so often, so I guess the blondes can take over.

Joaquim and Manuel always sport a voluminous mustachio. Again, I guess if a Portuguese is named Joaquim or Manuel and they wear a mustache, odds are they’ll come to Brazil, or as soon as they get here, they’ll grow one. There is a joke honoring the Portuguese mustache.

Somebody goes to the bathroom,”passa um fax”(PAHsaoong fahks), sends a fax (euphemism for defecates), wipes his behind with his finger, goes to a Portuguese guy sleeping on the couch and smears his mustache with the product of his bowel. What a shitty thing to do, wouldn’t you say?

A few hours later, Manuel wakes up to an overpowering stench all around him. He can’t believe the smell. He goes to the bathroom, no crap in the toilet. He goes to the yard, no dog doo-doo. He looks around the garden, no, the pigeons haven’t been crapping like there’s not tomorrow all over the place. So he thinks for a moment, and it finally dawns on him, “Shit, somebody crapped in the whole wide world.”

Those caricatures of a people are really funny, come to think of it. How come the Portuguese are always of middle-height, wear a mustache, and are hairy and stupid? If somebody
can explain that to me I’d appreciate it. By the way, if you’re Portuguese and are not named Manuel, Joaquim or Maria, come say hi.

But I wouldn’t mind trading an old mustached Portuguese for a beautiful stupid blonde, and I belie ve the Portuguese see that as something good, too. But maybe a stupid Blonde Maria will
come along and become the unequaled, consumate ultimate Queen of the Stupid.

And then we’ll all say, “Long Live Queen Maria!”

Author: Joe da Silva. joedasilva.wordpress.com or joedasilva.weebly.com

Breast and Butt War

Breast and Butt War

Posted in For Foreigners and Expats, For Students of English, humor with tags ass, breasts, tits, wonderbra, brazil, brazilian, butt, buxom, bosoms, humor, humour on April 5, 2009

Big breasts prick their way into the fabric of Brazilian culture

I’ve been noticing something ever since the advent of the Internet. The fact I had never noticed that before the Web came into everybody’s lives speaks volumes for how much influence it can bring to bear on the global culture. The butt has always been Brazil’s favorite body part, but now it has a huge contender. Yes, big breasts, which have always aroused the scrutiny of males and females alike for ages here, of course, but nobody cared to buy a wonderbra to make them look bigger.

We didn’t actually have a fetish for big knockers until the Internet came knocking on our doors. At least, that’s my viewpoint based on observation, which, if it can be counted as some kind of cientific evidence, then I’m not too off the mark here, am I? I’ve tried to find statistics on the internet to underpin my point but I’ve failed miserably in my endeavor, so if anybody can help me verify it, I’d appreciate it. Any plastic surgeon would care to lend me a hand in support of my big Tit Theory?

Anyway, buxom bosoms are becoming so widespread here that they are threatening to weigh down on the ass prevalence. I myself am a breast man, but I’m actually not so crazy about size. Don’t get me wrong, I like it, too. I just enjoy all shapes and sizes and don’t discriminate against women not so richly endowed in the upper
body department. But breast inflation in Brazil is getting to be as
widespread as in the USA and I don’t know if it is that good, after
all, variety is the spice of life.

But butts will keep on butting into Brazilian brains like a battering ram and won’t let the tits take away their title. The title holder of Brazil’s preference will contract around its kudos and break this wind of change!

At least, that’s what many butt buffs think.

An interesting thing I’ve been aware of lately is that women are checking out men’s behinds. I had never noticed that before, not as much as now, anyway. I guess that’s the American culture holding sway.
After all, they have the means to spread their culture like nobody
else. With so many series and movies with women commenting on and
checking out men’s butts, it is no wonder Brazilians would follow suit. By the way, have you checked out any butts today?

Another thing I’ve noticed is that in the past,
big butts were very popular, now, the tight ones are getting to be more
to Brazilians’ liking and I believe it has to do with the American as well as the gym culture, to be sure.
So, anyway, that makes it easier for women to have their plastic
surgeries without using silicone, I guess. They could deflate their
butts in order to inflate their hooters. No offense intended, ladies, I’m just being jocose.

So I suppose in the future big breasts will be in and big butts out, as a fashion thing, of course. Literally, big breasts will be at the forefront, standing erect in the front lines, while big rear ends will retreat into the trenches.

But blow by blow, the battered combatants bring no break to the bloody battle.

“Bring it on!” They say.

Author: joedasilva.wordpress.com

A unique “Cachorro Louco” in Brazil

Posted in For Foreigners and Expats, For Students of English, Social Critique with tags motoboy, death, cachorro, louco, são paulo, traffic on April 6, 2009 by teacherjoejmsilv

A cachorro louco, rabid dog, is a motoboy (mOHtoboy) in Brazil. The word motoboy comes from moto(mAWtoo), a colloquial word for motorcycle, and boy, from office boy. Motoboys are lightly or gravely injured or die every day in the city I live in, São Paulo. They die so often their deaths are not even newsworthy any more, about 2 a day. They are called rabid dogs because they ride their motorbikes between cars at speeds varying from 70 to 120 km/h. And they do it the whole day. It is, I believe, the most dangerous job in Brazil. More so than law enforcement and fire fighting since the death rate is higher.
“James Bond, get out of the way, a motoboy is on his way.” I guess it wouldn’t be too ludicrous for a motoboy to say that.

Even though they are called “boys”, they come in all ages, shapes and sizes. But their life expectancy is very low. Who’s to blame for their reckless behavior in traffic? I guess society as a whole since nowadays everybody wants things delivered yesterday. And nobody is faster than a motoboy, not on the road.

Traffic in São Paulo is chaotic almost anywhere it is worth going to. But if you want to see a cavalcade of motoboys like no other, take Marginal Pinheiros at rush hour— a highway going round São Paulo city in the margins of the Pinheiros Rivers, thence the name Marginal, even though it has different official names along the way, such as Avenida das Nações Unidas, United Nations Avenue, —and the other motoboy haunt is Avenida Washington Luis, Avenida 23 de Maio, and so on, it is also the same road with different names, but of course, they are all over São Paulo.

When driving here, if you are on the fast lane, make sure you keep close to the road divider because that spot between the fast lane and the middle one, which is called aisle or corridor in
Brazil, will probably be occupied by a motoboy, and if you don’t give them room, they’ll kick your sideview mirror or car, flip you the bird, shout at you or crash into you, which is the worst case scenario.

“Living la Vida Loca!” is their motto.

People do crash into motoboys because they will ride just about anywhere on the road and you can’t see them in many instances. People say there is a blind spot keeping you from seeing them many times. They usually keep to their favorite spot, but they have to go places, so they’ll need to leave that niche for maneuvers, and novice motoboys or regular motorcyclists circulate in other places because they are slower. If they stay in the motoboy lane—it has, for all intents and purposes, become one—they’ll be run over by motoboys, literally, since motoboys will push other motorcycles out of the way if they are slow, ergo, if you intend to ride a bike in São Paulo, be prepared for that.

Who’s the unique cachorro louco?

Me.

I’ve been riding a motorcycle in São Paulo for many years now. At first I bought brand-new ones, but now I have an old one camouflaged as a delivery bike, with a new engine, because motorbike thieves abound in this city. They steal older motorcycles for parts and new ones to sell in São Paulo itself, Paraguay or many other places.

Thieves have never been able to take a motorcycle from me, either because my alarm went off or because I fought back and got the better of them. I had a pepper spray with me at all times and I used it on myself first, to make sure it worked, and once I trusted it, when I saw a
chance, I’d use it and ride away like a bat out of hell. I said “had” because I need to buy some more even though thieves haven’t bothered me ever since I bought my old bike and camouflaged it. If you ride a more expensive or not-so-popular motorcycle, your chances of being robbed are slimmer since they prefer popular ones.

I also did other things to the bike, I installed side bars, which operate as a kind of bumper, and I wear sports gear, some kind of armor, both of which have protected me many times, from fender-benders and more serious accidents as well. I do have a car, but I use it only to take my family somewhere or on trips, but if I go anywhere on business, I take my faithful bike.

People say I’m more rabid than the motoboys, considering I have more options, but I hate delays more than anything, besides, I don’t ride my bike as they do, I usually go slowly and know when to get out of the way of my rabid counterparts. And I usually ride it twice a day only, since most of the time I work from home. I only take the road to teach someone English or Portuguese, which I do to break the routine of staying home translating or writing and because I love teaching.

So, I guess, I’m “Living la Vida Loca”.
Author: Joe Moreira da Silva joedasilva.wordpress.com

Alcoholism in Brazil

Alcoholism is rampant in Brazil. No wonder, you can buy alcohol practically at any corner. Even in padarias—which in Brazil is a liquor store-cum-bakery-cum-snack bar—you can buy booze. If you don’t want your kids to drink, why do we have bars and padarias serving alcohol across from schools? And many of them don’t even care if they are serving a minor, so if you like to be three sheets to the wind; Brazil is the place to be.

Am I a teetotaler? No. I believe people should be able to drink, but unfortunately, not everybody. Some people can’t hold their liquor and start making all sorts of trouble. Alcohol has been destroying families for a very long time in Brazil and it’ll keep on doing so for a very long time to come. Virtually every family has a pé-de-cana, drunkard. So of course, mine has one. Actually, we had three, but two of them are pushing up daisies now. I may sound callous by using that expression, but tipplers have that effect on me. We feel pity and anger all the time we are around them.

Brazilians need a lot of detox clinics. Lots of spouse beating and child abuse are caused by alcohol intake.

And neighbors are victims, too, not only of beatings but a lot of screaming, scandals, noise, because most boozers are loudmouths and troublemakers. If you do some research on emergency rooms, you’ll find how many acts of violence perpetrated by victims or aggressors are somehow alcohol related. Yes, lushes become victims too because one day somebody’s supply of patience runs out. And let’s not forget the number of people injured or killed by drunk drivers, do you need figures?

If you can buy easily, you drink more. Just check out the statistics. Booze is certainly not for everyone. If you realize you’ll become a problem for others, stop drinking now (if you can’t on your own, seek help), if you just want to escape reality, drink alone and don’t bug anyone. If you are able to hold your liquor, then, I guess you can take part in human interaction.

Drunkards are similar to manic-depressive types, or people with bipolar disorder.

I noticed that a long time ago. When they are drunk the id takes over and they do all sorts of evil stuff. Then, when they sober up many of them regret the harm they have caused and become nice to compensate for all the nastiness. So a lot of people say, “He is so nice when he is not drunk”, which becomes the motto of people who have to live with boozehounds.

Should we reenact the Prohibition laws?

No way!

That would just cause a crime wave because people need to get inebriated in order to escape the harsh reality of their empty lives or to relax enough to muster the courage to do something, etc. Should we decriminalize other drugs since alcohol is legal? No way, one legalized evil is more than enough; even though the fact people can’t take those other drugs cause crime all over the world for the same reason Prohibition generated gangster in the USA. The fact is it is better to fight crime and hospitalize junkies than to have more junkies around due to the fact it would be easier to get drugs since they’d be available all over like alcohol in Brazil.

And those people who want to legalize drugs are so naïve, they think everybody is responsible, they think people can control themselves. The truth is we need government or a big daddy because a great number of people are irresponsible and weak, which is one of the reasons I'm not an anarchist or an advocate of laissez-faire capitalism. Authority makes it easier for cowards to lead a good life, since if they were given freedom they'd trash their lives, and the lives of those around them as well. Fear keeps them from doing a lot of bad stuff. Some people can’t deal with freedom of choice, they mess it all up. The price of freedom is responsibility.

I’m actually in favor of the Dutch Solution.

We ought to have legalized drug zones in every city and prohibit consumption in other parts of the city, except at home, because how could any government enforce the law if people were not allowed to drink or take drugs at home, anyway? If we sectioned off parts of the city where people would be allowed to take drugs and deployed the police around those areas, it would be much easier to fight crime. And the detox clinics should be in those areas as well to make it faster to rescue overdose victims, etc. I guess that would be a middle-of-the-road solution. But I doubt very much that will ever happen in Brazil, the odds of that happening are the same as the pope becoming a member of the Igreja Universal, a Brazilian evangelical church, but that’s just my two cents.

The only way to control drugs is by controlling the supply, not the demand. Criminalizing drug or alcohol users will take us nowhere. We have to treat them as patients and detoxify them somehow, or as many as we can. But if drugs are so easily available, it is much easier for people to get addicted. And I don’t believe everybody is alike, I don’t believe everybody is equal, this is a pipe dream invented by democracy, which I defend even though I don’t like everything in it. Some people are able to hold their liquor, some aren’t. If you can’t hold your liquor, don’t hold me accountable for my actions if you give me hell on earth because of the drunken monkey on your back. I understand your situation but I’ll give you hell right back because I'm no saint. And I can always say I have a mood-control disorder when faced with a blotter, that can be a disease, too, can’t it?

Author: joedasilva.wordpress.com